Just "How"

How could all of this shit happen to you?

Good question indeed. Remember the idea "karma does exist"? Well yeah, I guess, it was the reason. That what you do in the past, will somehow backfire to you in the future. Or maybe it was because I just unlucky, maybe my wheel of life was--and probably IS--kissing the damn ground? Maybe it was because it was the time, fate, fuckin destiny or whatever? But then again, all of these speculations were the concept of fate.

So, according to my best guess, fate is the mothershitter.

 

How was your respond?

My respond was... damn this one crazy bitch called life. Felt like, parts of me were torn into miserable pieces and I just didn't know whether a strong adhesive could stick them together again, or not, or perhaps there's a store that sells new lives.

Yes. I was in lost of words. Lacked of courage, lacked of fortunes. My respond was: if only I had a dick, I would fuck this bitch senseless, until the bitch gave up and submitted to be my slave for ever and ever. I was furious.

 

How are you going to make up for all of this messed up, complicated, damned life of yours?

Oh shit. Is my life that pitiable and screwed? Certainly not. I'm still leading a pretty good life here, for some parts, I mean. Enough with that, and yeah, assume that my life is THAT fucked up, I...

Honestly, I haven't thought of some brilliant ideas yet as to what I should do next. However, for sure, I won't give up just yet. Suicide is off limit. Gotta make use of everything that I have in hand well. Blaming God is out of question. Mourning all day? Well I'm doing that even now but I'll stop after one or two days.

I might be the one who need to take responsibility, so I... I don't know yet.

NEVERTHELESS!! I must stand my ground strong.

Di Tengah-tengah

Kecewa. Bener-bener kecewa. Awalnya hanya untuk satu orang, kemudian merambat terus hingga akhirnya semua orang, semua hal benar-benar menjadi sangat mengecewakan. Bisa jadi ini adalah fase terberat, bahwa yang sebelumnya terjadi, hanya permulaan dari segala macam kesialan saat ini.

Terkadang gue bingung, bertanya-tanya, apa cuma gue satu-satunya yang begini sial? Bahwa orang lain bisa galau karena urursan sekolah aja, tapi gue bisa jadi gila karena semua hal yang berputar di sekeliling gue. Seolah gue ini mataharinya, dan masalah-masalahnya adalah planet-planet yang berevolusi di sekitar gue, dengan kecepatan konstan, ga pake berhenti.

Gue pengen bilang ke seseorang apa yang gue rasain. Tapi gue gak tau mau cerita ke siapa, gue gak tau siapa yang bisa dipercaya, dan yang terpenting, ga ada yang bisa bener-bener ngerti perasaan gue.

Masalahnya juga, gue bukan orang yang bisa dengan gampang menangisi masalah gue di depan orang. It's true kalo gue bisa dengan gampang nangis soal film, buku, cerita, atau lain-lain. Tapi beda cerita dengan masalah gue sendiri.

Gue gak bisa terbuka sama orang lain. Kalo pun gue nangis, gue ga akan sampe nangis di depan orang lain, seberat apa pun masalah gue itu. Biasanya gue bisa nangis depan orang kalo ada masalah juga gara-gara gue marah banget, tapi itu juga akan sampe meraung-raung dan menderai-derai. Gue akan cuma sekedar meneteskan beberapa tetes air mata, dan udah.

I can't cry my heart out to someone else. I'd rather save this for my own, and go mad on my own.

Tarot: The Moon

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.